Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize