I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize