So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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