if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize