All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
whose ass print is on the piano?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize