Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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