Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize