"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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