p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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