True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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