I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
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Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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