had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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