Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize