I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize