I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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