he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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