I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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