Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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