I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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