im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize