Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize