So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
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Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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