when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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