The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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