Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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