I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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