Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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