hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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