He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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