there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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