she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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