when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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