I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize