Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my poor anus
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize