just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize