I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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