just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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