i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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