Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize