I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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