it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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