I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize