I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
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just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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