and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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