Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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