I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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