Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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