Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize