he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize