I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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