you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sacagawea was the original milf.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I had to cum in my sink.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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